mountain bike musings

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Motherhood and My Time

18 hours a week is a part time job. 18 hours is daytime (in absence of night). It is also the number of hours my training plan for the BC Bike Race has me riding this week.

The fog was still thick as I pedaled past the Brook Road farm at 6 am this morning. A newborn calf was standing close to its mother-the same cow I watched giving birth to it a week ago: A large black mass heaving up and down on a pile of hay in the field with a small white head poking out. Today is Mother's Day and most mothers I know are awakening to the smell of coffee and well-intentioned baking efforts, not an alarm clock. But, here it is Sunday and I'm not quite set up to hit the 18 hour mark for the week, hence my dawn rising.

I actually didn't mind one bit. I'll have coffee and pancakes waiting for me after a 2.5 hour spin in the cool, quiet morning air. But more importantly, I love this time of day. Dawn is my favorite time to ride the Waterbury trails in the summer, when I feel that I alone am witnessing the wakening of the forest. Not to mention I feel clarity and healthy the rest of my day.

I constantly struggle between taking "my time" and giving it to other things in my life - family and work, friends and community. I try to take the 18 hours from sleep or sometime where it might not impact others, but ultimately, the guilty feeling creeps in over the long Saturday ride or the short work day on a Wednesday. With Phil riding his 18+ hours, too, planning schedules becomes a juggle of needs worthy of a circus act.

But today - Mother's Day - I found the perfect balance. After my ride, breakfast and Phil's ride, we took the boys on a meandering drive to Rutland to bike Pine Hill Park. It is a cool place, with landscaped trails (and gardens) and artistically designed bridges and features. The problem was in order to go down the flowing, well-bermed trails, we had to first climb up. While this philosophy is well-understood by adults, it is not the most motivating approach for two 7 year-old boys. Paint your own picture with a few hints: sibling rivalry; going up a trail called "the ledges;" going down a trail called "broken handlebar;" spectacular air...and crash landing. Despite a few rough patches, however, we hooted around the woods and the kids were grinning until the minute they fell asleep, fully entangled with the dog in the backseat.

We all learned about ourselves today - found what we needed for ourselves to be happy and to be part of and contribute to our "pack." And, it made me think that if my riding can expose them to the thrill of riding ("I slammed it!" Austin said proudly after going off a jump), then it may not be such a solitary activity.

Next week, the 11 hours on my plan will feel light, and I'm sure I'll redirect those 7 extra hours into the kids, the laundry or the job or volunteer work that fuels me.

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