Against the Tide

A Book Review of The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes You Smarter, by Katherine Ellison (Basic Books 2005)

The decision to quit a job I had held for ten years to care for our boys, Carson and Austin, struck me suddenly during an early morning nursing. At first wary of this sleep-deprived impulse and several life-changing ephipanies that followed, I soon realized it reflected sound thinking. Puzzled over this sudden clarity during a time I associated with a fuzzy state of mind, it was with relief that I discovered Katherine Ellison’s book, The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes You Smarter.

Ellison’s book attempts to answer what mothers want to know most: “Why am I feeling overwhelmed, anxious, elated or the need to be perfect?” Ellison’s answer: It’s because of our brain. Although she does agree that elements of nurture –political and cultural paradigms such as flexible work options, affordable, high-quality childcare, education pressures and mom support groups - certainly influence the experience, she argues that it is our basic nature that dictates how we respond to the transformative journey of motherhood.

Ellison documents biochemical changes in the female brain during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. These changes – enhanced perception, efficiency, resiliency, motivation and social skills (or “emotional intelligence”) – make up the author’s definition of “smart.” Ellison describes a “dynamic combination of love, genes, hormones and practice” leading to a “reorganization” of the brain. The new configuration is now “set up to maximize protection, nurture, attachment and concentration on the over-riding task [of the survival of a child]…at the expense of complex cognitive thinking.” This explains why minor memory loss by new mothers – often called “maternal amnesia” - is not the result of mental failings. Rather, it is the brain reminding that it is more important to remember when to feed the baby than where you left the car keys. Not to leave dads (or adoptive parents) out, Ellison claims that intensive contact with children can elevate hormone levels of prolactin, enhancing feelings of pleasure. Combined with “practice,” fathers are showing heightened skills in efficiency, multi-tasking and “attentiveness to details, such as socks strewn on the floor."

Just as readers wonder whether parents are being “rewired” only to worry about “socks strewn on the floor,” Ellison illustrates how the “five attributes of the baby-boosted brain” have led to boardroom leadership and effective advocacy for causes. She showcases mothers driven from complacency to collective action in the reform movement improving the welfare of children and mothers. As Joanne Brundage, founder of Mothers & More, puts it, “Motherhood brings out the lioness in women, but what we’ve never seen until recently is moms getting organized on their own behalf. It’s a bit at odds with our nurturer image…but we are being harder-edged about it. [In addition to improving economic and social support, it is important that] the non-mother pieces flourish while being a mother…this is the unfinished work of feminism.”

Ellison closes on an inspiring “Take Back Motherhood” soapbox, challenging us to use our specialized intelligence to empower both the mother and non-mother sides of ourselves. In the six months since I left my job, my “super-attentive learning machine” is tuned in to the changing needs of our boys. My mind feels perfectly oriented to the few creative endeavors I am cultivating. But I’m cautious about embarking on anything beyond that. Even if mothers did discover the full potential of our nature, the elements of nurture create too strong a tide against us taking on the world during baby and toddlerhood. We are limited less by our mind than by time, support, culture, policy and finances. With the job of mothering becoming increasingly cerebral, including decision making on health care, childhood development, consumerism and education, it seems that there is little energy left. And whatever is left is consumed by the physical demands of homemaking – cooking, cleaning and chasing the children. Even Ellison cautions, “change the world – starting with your world.”
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As printed in Mama Says newsletter