Courageous Women

4500 meters in the pool. 6 hours on the bike. 20 miles of running. As I enter these numbers in my workout log, I feel satisfaction at meeting my week's training goals. At the same time, I am aware that scheduling the expanding distances is increasingly difficult and it is only March. Training was requiring more time, skill, sleep, nourishment and a watchful eye on the slightest body twinge. As a reminder of purpose, I've dedicated my Ironman experience to two women who courageously struggled against the ultimate challenge - cancers, that ultimately took their lives. Drawing on deep inner resources, they found patience and meaning in the most difficult of conditions. Their stories are ones of commitment and unconditional love from family and friends.

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Maggie Ryan was the mother of four sons. As a close high school friend of her son, Matt, I often joined the "crowd" that gathered at the Ryan household over games of pool. It's an unexpected role, but mothers of teenagers also become a mother to their friends. Mrs. Ryan was no exception, welcoming us into her home, accepting our awkward selves as we navigated the complex world of adolescence. We experienced close friendships as well as feelings of social inadequacy, pursued interests from team sports to rock bands. We challenged boundaries and were grounded. We dated and broke up. Through all these cycles, Mrs. Ryan was one of the mothers that looked out for us. She cared and had hope for our futures.

Mrs. Ryan's lifetime role of nurturing her family was reversed when a slow-growing tumor was discovered in her liver. Over eight years, she became the focus of care as she struggled against liver and pancreatic cancer. Her husband, Ed Ryan's, full-time dedication to researching her health needs and arranging doctors and treatment exposed an initial misdiagnosis, extending her life. Matt's unique opportunity to help came when his liver was determined a match for a necessary transplant. Hopeful, he entered the operating room as his mother was prepared in another. As soon as the procedure was underway, however, it was canceled when doctors found additional cancer spots that would only spread. A month later - surrounded by her husband and sons - Mrs. Ryan passed away without pain. Despite the uncertainty, the family enjoyed eight years of heightened quality time together. As Matt put it, "we valued every minute with mom."

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Denise Dolan and her husband, Tom, were close friends of my parents and shared work, community and church in my hometown of Pittsford, New York. Through a double diagnosis of cancer twenty years apart, Denise describes in her published journal "an ordinary woman's journey that took her down a path so unexpected that it forced her to do extraordinary things in order to survive. It forced those around her to rethink the meaning of life and what is truly important. It brought together family friends, and strangers sharing one common prayer." Denise passed away in 2005.

"Twenty years ago, a very frightened 32-year old woman was told she had Hodgkins Disease. I remember it as if it were today - the numbness, the tears, the confusion. I remember sitting in my little bathroom, crying, talking to God. "I will not ask you 'why,' because there is no answer, but rather give me the strength and courage I need now to fight this disease." Today, I face yet another difficult battle against cancer. How can this be? But, it is. So, once again, give me the strength and courage at age 53 to do battle and win once again."

"I am about to embark on a journey. Like the seasons, change must occur in order to keep a balance and bring stronger, renewed life...As the leaves of autumn fall to the ground, silently, so too, my hair, will fall. As the snow begins to fall gently onto the ground, my blood count...my weight...drops. My body is resting but my spirit will always be strong. A time for hibernation and healing."

"Motivation [is] the desire, need, strong urge to do something. The motivation to return to normal is [so] strong, [that I] push [my]self to do simple tasks even if [I] have to rest after its completion...to change the tired to the lively; the dull to the vibrant. It takes time. It will happen. [I will] focus on healing, resting, and becoming whole again."

"The fabric of my life is made up of family and friends...each has added a personal piece to my life, woven tightly by love. I truly believe people are put in our path on our journey of life for special reasons - lessons to be learned; help to be given or received; enrichment; insight; wisdom."

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I can only hope that these stories guide me towards that place of peace or patience or love - in the 12th hour of the Ironman event or during the most trying moments with my toddler sons. Thinking of these women of strength inspires me towards the finish line as well as throughout the true endurance test of life. As Mrs. Dolan wrote, "Cancer is so limited. It cannot cripple love. It cannot shatter hope. It cannot silence courage."